okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
