Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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