too bad you live with your parents still
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
