so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just invented taco cereal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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