I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
as a side note pls kill me
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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