omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
