whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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