I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
