I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
