just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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