Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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