we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
