How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
