can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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