I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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