Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
