Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
