I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
