Got a toothbrush?
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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