So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
