that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Congratulations! We have a period
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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