Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
