I skipped work to stalk him.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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