she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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