Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
