youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
