You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
