if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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