y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
