Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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