Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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