She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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