put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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