Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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