I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
