remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
