So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
