Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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