So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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