his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You are a genius and a whore.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
