Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
