some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
