Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
