the new term for farting is butt boxing.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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