That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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