he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
