how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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