I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We're too hungover to prance.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
