I puked a lego.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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