no, he came in my armpit
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
