i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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