But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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