maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
