Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
