I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
